And slam dunk on a woman.

The day was winding down, and I left the Lounge. As I walked to the vehicle I noticed a young woman coming my direction. She had on a some delightful looking number, and a pleasant disposition.

As we near one another I realized that it was Nicole, whom I had met a few weeks ago.

"Nicole? Right?" said the Shameless one.

"No," said she.

I realized that she was indeed not Nicole, and once we got past all of the confusion we engaged in a decent conversation.

When she found out I was soon to be 24 she enlightened me with a fun fact:

"Your body starts decay when you turn 24," said she.

That was nice to know, but I didn't pay too much attention to it. We went our separate ways.

The next day at uni a club fair takes place. There were slip 'n' slides and several other inflatable delights. Tables and tables. Posters and Posters. Food and Candy.

Food and Candy...

I went to the club fair mainly for food and candy, but I was actually able to find a few clubs that caught my fancy. I was with two female undergrad acquaintances, Columbia and WonderWoman, when I noticed a rock wall in the distance.

"Let's do it," said WonderWoman.

Now, in the past I've rocked at rock climbing. So I expected to rock the rock. However, that was far from what happened.

The harness strapped tightly on my groin. I stood poised ready to race against WonderWoman.


Went up the wall we did. At least. She did. My foot slipped and a crashed like a fallen angel. I wasn't hard on myself, because I had boots on. So I decided to take them off and try again.

Newly barefoot blazoned I stood poised ready to race against Columbia.

Went up the wall we did. At least. It was longer than the first time. Something slipped. I'm on the ground again.

"Awww C'Mon Shameless Vagabond!" says she.

Sigh....There was no pity.

Another female friend, The Face, was watching from the slip 'n' slide and challenged me. More determined than not, I was going to beat her.

Went up the wall we did. At most. I have heart. Everything slipped. Third time is either a charm or the time to call it quits.

I quit.

With feet/pride throbbing in pain, The Face challenged me to a slip 'n' slide race. Quite used to losing to women, I was ready.

I changed into shorts. Set. Ready. Run. Half Way through I run out of inertia. Sploosh.

"I beat you!" says she.

I know.....I know.

Defeat wouldn't have been as bad if I had had a towel to dry off with. I put my jeans on. It looks like I urinated on myself. I might as well have.

Back at the Lounge, I tell my story. A male friend, Aladdin, offers his theory.

"They're much smaller than you. They have a lot less to move," says he.

This may be true. I am a good 200 pounds and 6 ft tallish. However, I think about what "Nicole" said. Body decay?

No. Can't be. What about Lebron James? He exceeds me in age, height and weight, and look at what he can do. He dunks on people while strong arming the sports industry. I sit with a wet crotch while studying.

The message is clear. I need to get back in shape. Take a basketball. And slam dunk on a woman.


That's it.